I always, always get real antsy the week leading up to a CT scan. But this time it is more than usual. I think it is because in the past, mostly the news from a scan has been less than desirable, and so that is always the news I expect. Since I have been given little glimpses that the treatment I've been on lately might actually be doing something this time, I have more of a reason to feel more hope about the results. So this makes me all the more uneasy about it. Should I hope more this time? Or does that just lead me to be more disappointed when the news comes out bad?
But just think how different my life could change all of a sudden if the news were good! I've been waiting three years for good news!